ezpz products are different than anything else on the market. Each product is an all-in-one placemat + plate / bowl made from high quality silicone. What else? The mat SUCTIONS directly to the table, making it difficult for tiny hands to tip over.
Other special features:
What materials are ezpz products made out of?
ezpz's mat-based products, cups and Tiny Spoons are made from 100% food-safe silicone that is 3rd-party quality tested (FDA approved + CPSC certified).
Why is silicone so great?
Which ezpz products are best for my little one(s)?
All of ezpz's mat-based products provide a stable base for your little one to practice fine motor skills like the pincer grasp and hand-to-mouth movements. The self-sealing mat also helps infants, toddlers and preschoolers work on utensil skills such as dipping, scooping, piercing and cutting. Here is the volume + age recommendation by product:
Do ezpz mats really seal to the table?
Yes! As long as air can't get underneath the mat, all ezpz mats are self-sealing and cannot be released by pulling on the plate or bowl. This includes wood, laminate, stone and glass surfaces. Important note - if you have a tiled or wood surface that has holes, divots or fractures the seal will not work as well. Also, it is critical that the back of the mat is clean and free of lint and dust. To release the mat, simply peel the outer edge.
DockaTot founder Lisa Furuland came up with the idea for DockaTot after she had her first child. “When my son Ilias was born, I searched unsuccessfully for an alternative to the blanket, the cot and the baby lounger,” she says. “I craved something more snug and at the same time more versatile.” Lisa wanted to create an environment that was as safe and comforting as a mother’s womb. “I wanted our docks to serve as secure place for parents to place their little ones under supervision,” she says.
2. IT PROVIDES A COMFORTABLE MICROCLIMATE:
We often think about the temperature and global climate in our baby’s room, but we may neglect their immediate surroundings known as the ‘microclimate’. The DockaTot is made from hypoallergenic materials that don’t harbor heat to ensure an optimal sleeping temperature.
3. IT’S PORTABLE AND EASY TO WASH:
“I love the portability of the DockaTot,” says Jana. “We recently went out of town for an extended weekend and took the DockaTot with us. It’s so easy to throw in the car and go.” “I love that it’s easy to move from room to room and the cover is so easy to wash,” adds Sara Tortello.
4. IT’S EXTREMELY SAFE:
Not only is the DockaTot free from phthalates, heavy metals and flame retardants, but its safety standards are second to none. “Founder Lisa Furuland and her team go to great lengths to create an incredibly high-quality product,” says The Tot co-founder Nasiba Adilova. “They go well above and beyond what’s required when it comes to safety testing. The fabric is Oeko-Tex Standard 100 Class 1 certified, breathable and hypoallergenic.”
5. IT HELPS BABIES TO CALM:
“I love that my daughter is calm and content in the DockaTot. It’s comfortable and very soothing,” says Jessica Ashley.
6. IT FACILITATES TUMMY TIME:
Tummy time is important to help babies develop motor skills and neck strength, but it’s common for them to dislike the effort it requires at first. The DockaTot provides the ideal tummy time space thanks to its rounded sides that help prop babies up when placed under their arms. Tummy time is finally fun!
Courtesy: https://www.thetot.com/baby/10-reasons-why-moms-love-the-dockatot/
The guidelines provided here are for information purposes only. Consult your health care provider before making any changes. Remember, SIDS cannot be prevented. But you can take steps to reduce the risk. Use of this information is at your own discretion. This website does not accept any liability to any person for the information or advice (or the use of such information or advice) which is provided on this website or incorporated into it by reference.
]]>A newborn baby is a gift and an inspiration. Parents feel an overpowering desire to do everything they can to ensure their babies feel loved, safe and relaxed. With your baby′s need for containment and peace in mind, we have designed the unique nurtureOne™ nesting cushion.
A nesting cushion like the nurtureOne™ Cushion, into which your baby can snuggle, is designed in such a manner that it does not compromise the baby’s breathing space or restrict movement. The nest shaped cushion with its broad band that spans from side to side over the baby, offers touch and proprioceptive input. Its boundaries provide resistance for him/her to kick against and to move within the necessary limits. This proprioceptive environment will also assist in calming your baby.
The cushion assists with snug position for sleeping, which in turn encourages calm and relaxation. Allowing for a smooth transition from breast or bottle to crib without changing position, the nurtureOne™ cushion is our answer to every parent′s question. How can I help my baby sleep well?
Written By: Jenny Spiro B.Sc OT (University of Cape Town), B.Soc.Sc Social Work (University of Cape Town)
After qualifying with both social work and occupational therapy degrees, Jen specialised in working with newborn babies and children with learning difficulties. She has worked in community-based well baby clinics, provided occupational therapy intervention for children with learning difficulties, and run social skills groups with children and adolescents. Being a mother of two, together with her work and studies, has given her a wealth of insight into the emotional, physical and developmental needs of children.
]]>Let’s start at the beginning.
My daughter was born at full term (39 weeks) and unexpectedly needed to go to the NICU due to her requiring oxygen and having withdrawals from my anti-depressant medication that I was on during my pregnancy. She appeared somewhat floppy and was breathing as if she was still in the womb. She required oxygen for approximately 5 days but landed up being in the NICU for 3 weeks (21 whole days) due to her having feeding difficulties and needing to be fed through the feeding tubes. This on its own would have been a lot but to add to the complexity, it was the first peak of the Covid-19 pandemic in South Africa and the hospital was still full of all the unknowns about the virus, leading to strict protocols being put in place. I was only allowed to see my daughter once per day, while wearing a mask, a visor, an apron and gloves, thus not being able to hold her and touch her like I wanted so badly to do. Initially, my husband was not allowed in and could only meet her when we received special permission from the hospital when we realized she was staying in the NICU for much longer than anticipated. He saw her when she was born and then only about 10 days after that.
I used to come home each day crying as I had so many mixed emotions.
On one hand, I had the support and the best care possible in the NICU but on the other, my daughter was left alone often with no one to hold her and pick her up when she wanted some love or attention. I also hated sitting in the hospital alone, often not being able to hold her or feed her and felt guilty for not wanting to spend the full 3 hours I was permitted there with her. I admire those nurses in the NICU and appreciate all their hard work. I also did not want to sit in that environment with my daughter whereby I did not know how to behave or what to do. I looked around at other mothers, wanting to speak to them, but due to social distancing and other Covid protocols, this was not possible. I recall asking the paediatrician each day when my daughter could come home, and her answer to me was let us see how she is each day. I found it frustrating not knowing when she would come home but my doctor needed to monitor her progress each day and could not tell me what I wanted to hear. It felt like she was never coming home.
The NICU experience for me was hard but in hindsight, such a special place which allowed for relationship building and time for me to heal without dealing with my daughter’s medical and feeding difficulties. She was provided with the best care and was in such a good routine by the time she came home that it allowed that adjustment for me and her to be a smoother process.
My daughter is now almost 18 months and thriving with no additional complications from her birth. This is all thanks to those doctors, nurses and other staff members at the hospital and in the NICU.
Here are some tips and suggestions that I have for other moms who are going through this (or have been or are possibly going to go through this):
For me, some of the most rewarding parts about having had my daughter in the NICU were that I got to recover from my c-section while my daughter was in such good care; my daughter was in a great routine when she came home in terms of her eating and sleeping; I learnt a lot from the doctors, nurses, occupational therapists, speech therapists, physios and other staff members which assisted me with my daughter and myself.
I hope other moms find comfort in this and please know that I am available if anyone would like to chat about anything relating to this.
“There are no shortcuts to any place worth going” Good luck with your NICU experience and allow yourself to experience all the emotions through the process.
Written By: Farryn Kangisser
Farryn is an educational psychologist in private practice and a mom of a 1 year old. She predominantly sees children and adolescents for therapy and assessments, as well as doing parent support work. She can be contacted on 0825364630 or farryn.edpsych@gmail.com and you can follow her on Instagram @littlelifelearnings
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Quality over quantity
One of the main questions we get when it comes to our oils, is what makes them different from basic shop bought oils and why do they cost more. The answer to this is in the purity and organic standards of growing the plants. Young Living Essential Oils are strictly grown and produced in a chemical free, organic and sustainable method. Making sure that everything from the seed used, the plant, to the soil they are grown in are all chemical free and of highest standards.
This is important to produce an end result of Therapeutic-Grade essential oils that actually deliver health and wellness results. When you purchase a bottle, you can be sure that the contents thereof are 100% pure plant and they do not contain any chemicals or preservatives, and are not diluted or bulked up by fragrances and fillers. A little goes a long way, with the best results!
Basic Oil Usage For Children
The use of Essential Oils as a health remedy, dates back to the Bible. Modern day medicine originated from the use of herbs and plants and was then modified with the introduction of chemical additives as the years went on.
These days we see an increase in parents who are going back to natural products as a treatment method and support for the immune system and general health and wellness.
Young Living Essential Oils gives you the ability to use oils as a Natural health alternative and target specific problems. Many parents report a more enjoyable wellness routine because of this non invasive way of wellness treatment for little ones. Paired with one of Young Livings top quality ultrasonic diffusers, the result is a perfect natural first aid kit for your family.
There are two main ways of using Essential Oils for children:
Diffusers – Aromatherapy
The first and most popular is diffusing. This is When you add around 5 to 6 drops of your chosen oil to your diffuser filled with water. The ultrasonic diffuser breaks the oil up into micro particles that are then diffused into the air with the water vapor, allowing you to breath in the oil particles so that they can enter your body and assist with the particular ailment. This is common for stuffy noses, sinus, flu symptoms, immune boosting, sleep aid, mosquito repellent and much much more. The uses and treatments are endless.
Topical application
The second method that is recommended is Topical application. This is when you apply oils to the skin so that they can quickly enter the body and get to work fast. I always recommend using Topical application in combination with diffusing for the best results. As well as using it in a good daily routine.
Remember , just like over the counter wellness products, the oils need to he used in a daily routine when targeting a specific problem, to get the best results. You can not use it once and expect miracles.
When applying your oils to skin, remember to always dilute first! Some Essential oils are “hot oils ” , meaning that they can burn and damage skin if not diluted first. You can easily dilute your oils with carrier oils such as coconut oil, jojoba, grape seed, olive.
2% Dilution rate is recommended for children, bath and whole body products, and is great for regular daily use of an oil. For every 10 ml carrier = 6 drops EO.
Top 5 Essential Oils for Little ones
With so many oils available, it can be hard to determine which essential oil to use for which ailments and to invest in. I always advise asking the sales person and consultant whom you purchase from. As they should guide you in the right direction and be available for ongoing usage and safety support. if you are thinking of getting into oils and have any questions or require a price list, then you can email essentiallivingsouthafrica@gmail.com .
Here is a quick rundown of five of the most popular oils for children:
Lavender:
Well know as the “Swiss army knife” of Oils, because of its vast range of use! We highly recommend that you always have a bottle of Lavender at home. Uses include skincare, Sleep support , Calming, stress reduction, sunburn, stings and itchy skin.
Eucalyptus:
When you hear the word eucalyptus, you immediately associate it with better breathing. This is the most popular oil for use when it comes to stuffy noses and assisting with Respiratory function. When Inhaled, it can relieve headaches tension, colds and coughs. It is also great for assisting with join and muscle pain.
Cedarwood:
Cedarwood is in my opinion, highly underrated! It is such an amazing oil for little ones because it can both assist with helping with concentration and also with sleep! It works wonders for the brain. This is a great option for bedtime routine and for hyperactive little ones that struggle to sit still and concentrate. Cedarwood is also great for hair growth.
Citronella:
Well known as a mosquito and insect repellent, you can't go wrong with diffusing this at night for your little ones! Can also be applied to skin for added protection. Citronella is also a great Deodorizer, assists with muscle and nerve pain
Thieves:
Thieves is the Famous Immune defence and support blend! Recommended for use from 3 months on with strict Dilution for skin application due to it being a hot oil blend. Great for Assisting with symptoms of colds and flu and supporting immune system.
Young Living now has over 65 Essential oils available in South Africa, as well as a range of natural cleaning products, supplements, Facial care, soaps and 5 different diffuser options. You are sure to find a product that will work for you.
]]>]]>Dear Mom
Your value is immeasurable. And your unique and special role in your child's life requires special and purposeful attention. If you as a Mom or Dad gets the necessary support early on and receive the tools to provide support for yourself, we break a negative cycle that can be passed down from generation to generation. Every woman who heals herself, heals her children's children.
Research shows that between 31 - 40% of South African women experience mental health problems after the birth of their baby. South Africa also ranks among the top 5 countries with the highest figures in the world. These alarming statistics is the main reason we need to work together to dispel and address the stigma of Postpartum Depression, Adjustment and anxiety to improve the mental health of future generations to come.
BetterMom is a passion-project of mine that I started in 2021 to focus on addressing this stigma of Postpartum adjustment, depression and anxiety for the whole family, so that my children's children do not have to be ashamed to speak up about these matters one day. BetterMom focuses on your mental health by addressing relevant topics and providing tools and programs to support you as a parent to bond and be deeply in touch with your children. A self-aware and self-confident parent is a parent who is empowered to make a difference in their own life but also in the life of their children.
Few parents realize this, but there is a difference between the "Baby Blues" and Postpartum Depression. It's especially important for you as a parent to have knowledge of the relevant symptoms so that you can identify the signs early and therefore get the necessary support if needed.Symptoms of 'baby blues' could last only a few days to a week or two after your baby is born and include the following:
- Mood swings that are characterised by fluctuation in your mood
- Anxiety of fear
- Sadness and tears
- Irritability or sensitivity to small and big things
- Feeling overwhelmed by the thought of completing basic tasks
- Decreased concentration most likely caused by lack of sleep or the possible trauma associated with the birth process, whether it worked out or didn't work out as planned
- Appetite problems such as a decreased appetite or having the need to overeat
- Struggling to sleep which includes insomnia or over sleeping
Postpartum depression may seem similar to baby blues - but the signs and symptoms are more intense and long lasting. These symptoms can also eventually interfere with your ability to take care of yourself and your baby, as well as inhibit or reduce your ability to complete basic daily tasks.
Symptoms develop within the first few weeks after birth, but can start earlier - during pregnancy - or later - up to a year after birth. Too many mothers are only diagnosed after years and years of struggling with these symptoms.Before we look at the specific symptoms, we need to highlight two important points:Lets look at Postpartum depression signs and symptoms that may include the following:
- If you have thoughts of harming yourself or your baby, please speak to a loved one or medical professional immediately to ensure that you and your baby receive the care you need.
- If thoughts of harming yourself or your baby may lead to actions please consult your nearest emergency department, doctor or psychiatrist immediately. There are experts around you who can help.
- If you have recurring thoughts of death or suicide, please address them immediately with someone you trust, with a doctor or psychologist. There is an English saying, "What you put into the light can no longer hold you tight". Surrender to people who can save you and your baby's life. Remember, you and your baby are valuable and precious beyond measure.
- Depressed mood or being very moody
- Excessive or uncontrollable crying
- Struggling to bond with your baby. Maybe it feels like you just can not look your baby in the eye or have the need to kiss or hug them. It also includes the need to put distance between you and your Baby or harbour feelings of resentment towards your baby
- Withdrawing from family and friends to create distance is an primal need of the brain to preserve you and your energy and is not healthy because we as humans are hardwired for love and connection. If you feel you don't want to open the curtains for days on end or stopped looking after your hygiene, it's definitely time to consult a doctor or Psychologist
- Loss of appetite or completely overeating that does not benefit breastfeeding anymore for instance
- Inability to sleep which includes insomnia or wanting to sleep too much
- Overwhelming fatigue and loss of energy
- Decreased interest and pleasure in what you enjoyed in the past
- Intense irritability, sensitivity and anger. Anger serves as a red flag and needs to be addressed. Do introspection to find out what emotions are underlying this experience. It usually has to do with feelings of inferiority, helplessness, shame, inadequacy or hopelessness. Once you've identified what you feel, ask yourself why you feel that way and what you can do about it
- Fear that you are not a good mother and what it means to you
- Feeling of hopelessness
- Reduced ability to think clearly, concentrate or make decisions. Adults make approximately 35,000 decisions each day. Decision Fatigue is a major problem in today's society and can be treated at various levels. Actively reduce the amount of decisions you have to make each day
- Restlessness or the need to have everything in order. Ask yourself what you can let go of, and in what areas of your life you are able to relinquish control
- Severe anxiety and panic attacks. A panic attack is characterized by symptoms such as sudden high blood pressure, heart palpitations, sweatiness, nausea, dizziness and lightheadedness
Other factors include:
And last but not least, a gentle reminder to look after yourself with great care and love so to live by example to your children of how they should love and care for themselves. Prioritize your physical, emotional and mental health.
- Unrealistic expectations that mothers and fathers place their on baby. Your baby is not capable and will most likely not fulfill you as a human being. Just love who they are and go seek your fulfillment in the love you give to yourself and therefore to your baby. Other fulfillment can also be cultivated in your hobbies or even in charity work you engage in
- Infertility, hormonal and endocrine levels can also play a major role. Check with your doctor to eliminate medical explanation for your mood '
- Marital problems and when Mom gets jealous of the amount of attention Dad gives to baby. Having a meaningful conversation with your loved on in this regard can create opportunity for a new bond between parents. Marriage or couples counseling with the right therapist can also be one of the greatest gifts a couple can give to themselves and their relationship. Remember, your child grows up in the emotional crib between you and your partner. Do introspection on what that band looks like and what it means
- Other factors are when Mom feels alone and isolated. Loneliness is a pandemic in today's society and factors like Covid-19 have exacerbated such experiences
- Complications or illness for mother or baby before, during and after birth can also play a role. Maybe there were complications with Mom at birth or baby was admitted to the NICU due to premature birth or due to an illness, something you might not have expected at all. The trauma of this experience takes time to process and needs to be addressed
- Adoption and the grueling adoption process that can include a lot of uncertainty, stigma and judgment by society
- Extreme influence such as parents / friends / in-laws giving opinions, being bossy or trying to control your parenting style. It helps to know that many times it is a projection of the person or persons' own feelings of inferiority.
- In addition to the above recommendations, Postnatal Depression, Adjustment and Anxiety is treated with psychotherapy, medication and a thorough medical checkup. A medical examination is especially important to eliminate aspects such as diabetes, hormonal imbalance or high blood pressure that could have a physiological effect on your mental health.
Head over and follow BetterMom on Facebook and Instagram to stay up to date on other interesting topics and new therapeutic products and programs to support Mom, Dad and Baby. Also visit their website www.bettermom.today or send an email to Hello@bettermom.today for more information.
( Please note that by law we may not provide any medical advice or recommendations over email)
When it comes to postpartum fitness, I see new moms making the same two mistakes. They either workout too hard, too soon, or, they feel so tired, sore and scared to exercise that they avoid it all together. Both approaches are harmful to the delicate postpartum body.
So here are my 5 best practices for getting back into shape postpartum.
Your body will change from pregnancy, labour and childbirth, there is no way around this. Acceptance is the first step toward healing. Know that your body will bounce back but only with lots of intervention on your part, especially if you started your family in your 30s and beyond.
A weak, damaged core is at the root of ALL your pain, discomfort, and unhappiness with your body. Jumping back into fitness will only create more damage - this means pain and problems for the rest of your life and especially when you hit menopause. A strong, functioning core supports you no matter what you are doing and allows you to live a full life and get back to all the things you love! Regular exercise – running, crunches, lifting heavy weights – puts a lot of pressure on your pelvic floor and rectus abdominis (6-pack abs) and could hinder your efforts at healing. Targeted core and pelvic floor restoration exercises, combined with postural training is the BEST way to heal any postpartum dysfunction (abdominal separation, incontinence, prolapse, a thickened waistline and general weight gain). Proper core training targets all 4 of your core muscles – pelvic floor, diaphragm, transverse abdominals, and multifidus. This means Kegels alone don’t cut it.
Flexibility is so overlooked in the world of fitness but is, in my opinion, the real fountain of youth – freedom of movement with no pain or discomfort is where it’s at. Make flexibility a priority as you get older so you can age without decline. One thing to note is that not all stretching methods are created equal. Passive (stretch and hold) type stretches take too long and any gains achieved are only temporary. Instead build flexibility on a foundation of strength – this is know as end-range strength building and is the type of stretching that dancers and gymnasts do. If you train your flexibility in this way, you will injury-proof your body, improve your posture and build long, strong muscles.
Breastfeeding moms often have the dual goal of wanting to lose weight while increasing their milk supply. This means balancing out nutritional needs of yourself and your newborn over a 1-2 year period. In order to do this, you need something sustainable that will serve you whether nursing or losing baby weight. Diets lead to confusion, interfere with body’s natural processes, are restrictive and generally lead us to give up on any weight loss efforts. Instead focus on the bigger picture, keep it simple, eat for longevity. A nourished body will recover faster which means more energy and time for your family.
The best diet for a nursing mom is a simple wholefoods diet. Think fresh, unprocessed, all-the-colours-of-the-rainbow type foods. Most nursing moms need about 300-350 extra calories per day – that’s about 2.5 chicken breasts (not a whole bucket of chicken)!
Once your core is healed and you can start exercising properly again – aim for intensity or quality over quantity. The last thing you have time for is endless hours of cardio. You can work out long or workout hard but you can’t do both. Too much cardio is not good for the body. Our bodies start to break down muscle tissue for fuel and with less muscle in your body, your resting metabolism will drop. Your body then holds onto fat stores in anticipation of your next long cardio session. Yes, cardio does burn more calories minute-for-minute during your workout but the fat burning stops the minute the workout is over. A better approach is to workout less but with more intensity – combine strength training with high intensity cardio intervals. This burns up to 10 x more fat during and after your workout, builds muscle, improves fitness, and works the full body in less time. Don’t be afraid to lift those weights – strength training prevents injury, builds bone density, protects against disease and aging and increases metabolism. But perhaps the most important reality is that, while good nutrition reduces fat stores, lifting weights builds that sexy shape. Diet and cardio alone just won’t give you those sexy curves you’re after – muscle does that.
As a new mom, your life changes so much and it can be overwhelming to even think about exercise. But the best gift you can give to your family is your good health. Movement is medicine. Food is life. By prioritizing your health and fitness you are filling your own cup, creating a positive example for your children, and preserving YOU in this new equation of life.
Written by: Marise Dusheiko
Marise Dusheiko is a former professional dancer, Pilates instructor and post-natal fitness coach with over 15 years’ experience in the fitness and flexibility industries. Her mission is to help women safely rebuild their post-partum bodies and reconnect to their feminine power through movement so they can feel beautiful and confident again. For more info on her 12-week postpartum coaching program reach out via support@marisedusheiko.com.
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How exciting! And yes, a little overwhelming too. We get it! This is why we’ve made things a little easier with our 10 top tips to help you create the perfect baby gift registry.
1. Practical before pretty. First, think about the practical items you need. Especially if this is your first baby. The nursery isn’t going to create itself. Babies need practical items, like a change mat, a cot bumper, swaddles, a carrier, blankets and so on. Those practical items should find their way onto your registry to help you get organised before the baby arrives.
2. Bring on the pretty! Now for the fun things! Think about the cutesy things you want to add. The decorative pieces, the toys, the cute little outfits. Try to find a balance between the practical and the nice-to-haves so that you’re giving your friends and relatives both options to choose from.
3. Date night it. Add products together with your partner so that you both understand what you need and what to expect. It’s also a great way to read up about some of the items and brands you might not have been aware of beforehand. Deciding together is a beautiful way to bond over the baby before the baby arrives, and gives you both something special to do as a couple.
Create your registry, or check on your registry. If you need us, you can contact us and we’ll happily help you with your registry.
The Wee Love Team.
]]>I am yet to reach it.
The other day, my sleep deprivation sanity was hanging by such a loose strand that I had to check in with my mom gang (we call ourselves the MANG) for some peer reassurance. My kid screamt for an hour at bedtime because I told him he needed to wear pyjamas to go to sleep.
A fellow mom reassured me that I was not alone. Her kid was sick recently and her heavy hand - that’s usually reserved for her glass(es) of wine - poured a few extra millilitres of Calpol and Deselex in the spoon just to try buy herself a couple hours of sleep.
We beg and plead for constant sleep tips from our mom tribes. We crave it like crack cocaine. We exchange numbers for sleep trainers like we would dealers (if we were indeed crack addicts, which I am fast on my way to becoming). We prescribe remedies from essential oils to magnesium syrup (this was last week’s suggestion so I rushed off to buy a bottle).
And of course, baby sleeping bags or sacks are often recommended to help improve baby sleep quality, supposedly because “the cozier your baby, the better they’ll sleep”.
There may be some merit to that now that it’s winter and your baby might be waking up from the cold, having wiggled and wangled their way out of their blankets.
Many of us have already cottoned onto using sleeping bags from boutique baby brands such as Grobag, Puckababy & Perlimpinpin (our personal fave).
Perhaps we love the idea of using only the softest, finest, 100% organic cotton on our baby’s delicate skin. And we love the beautiful prints that match our perfectly colour coordinated nurseries. After all, it’s the “on trend” way to put your baby to sleep, so it’s now included on the infamously informal 250 page “Baby Essentials List for First Time Moms”.
Some have even whispered that sleeping bags can be linked with mystical Sleep Association Cues so that your baby can develop the association that bag = bedtime. You can even take this one step further and hope to Gd that sleeping bags act as a familiar “comforter” for your baby, making sleep times easier even when away from home, or during travelling, and eases transitions from basket to cot, and cot to bed. Talk about hyping the thing up.
If none of these reasons have sold you yet… (and they do make for a pretty valid argument for the use of sleeping bags)… here’s the actual kicker:
Unintentional suffocation is the leading cause of injury death among infants from birth - one year of age, with 82% being attributable to accidental suffocation and strangulation in bed.
That’s right… cause of death: accidental suffocation and strangulation in bed from factors including soft bedding and blankets obstructing the airway.
Sadly, these deaths are preventable.
And by many of us already using sleeping bags, we’ve eliminated loose sheets, cot duvets and blankets from our baby’s cots. Thereby making it the safest possible sleep environment for our babies.
Sleeping bags also delay baby from rolling into the high-risk tummy position during sleep and prevent the baby’s legs from dangling out of cot rails.
Even though we may not have been aware of the why, our use of sleeping bags is a total blessing in disguise.
And if a sleeping bag can give us that extra bit of reassurance that our babies are sleeping safely, even if not soundly, I’m happy to use one.
What moms have to say about the Perlimpinpin:
“Reverse zip also allows baby to stay warm and cozy during diaper changes without disrupting sleep”
“The bag zips down at an angle making it exceedingly challenging for curious babies to unzip themselves. My little girl could easily get herself out of every other sleep sack brand we own – but she still hasn’t been able to Houdini her way out of the Perlim. And we’ve been using it for months”.
“It has a smaller neck-hole than other sleep sacks, so you’ll never worry about your little one’s head dropping through during restless sleep periods”
“The bamboo is sooooooooooo soft and is a temperate – regulating fabric”
“It washes and dries really well”
“Lots of room for baby’s feet”
“I have four of them!”
CHOOSING THE RIGHT “TOG”
Shopping for a sleeping bag means that you need to learn the lingo. Many sleeping bags are designed in different thicknesses, commonly referred to as the tog rating. It’s basically a warmth rating: the higher the tog, the warmer the bag. South Africa’s climate is relatively moderate; our winters aren’t as brutal as those in other parts of the world. So it’s not really necessary to change bags with the seasons. A sleeping bag with a 2 or a 2,5 tog rating is generally ideal for the SA climate. A 3,5 tog would be too thick for SA.
HOW TO SAFELY USE A SLEEP BAG:
A FINAL TIP:
From my experience, you really want to own more than one bag. You never know when a wet nappy will leak at 2am and you need to have a backup bag when the other is in the wash. Might be an expensive exercise but worth it.
Read here to find out more about creating the safest possible sleep environment for your baby, plus the most common questions about how to position your baby in their cot (can they really choke on their own vomit?!)
WHAT IS THE SAFEST SLEEP ENVIRONMENT?
The safest sleep environment for a baby, experts say, is a firm, flat mattress with nothing but a fitted sheet on it. Nothing else should be in the bed: no stuffed animals, blankets, pillows, bumpers, or positioners of any kind. So invest in a sleep sack rather than a blanket. Remove all wedges and loose objects. And put baby to sleep flat on their backs.
THE BOTTOM LINE:
Babies sleep safest on their backs. Babies who sleep on their backs are 6 times less likely to die of SIDS than are babies who sleep on their stomachs or sides.
The safest sleep environment for a baby, experts say, is a firm, flat mattress with nothing but a fitted sheet on it. So invest in a sleep sack rather than a blanket.
Ideally, nothing else should be in the bed: no stuffed animals, blankets, pillows, bumpers, or positioners of any kind. Remove all wedges and loose objects. And put baby to sleep flat on their backs.
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS:
Why should I place my baby on his or her back to sleep?
Research shows that the back sleep position is the safest for babies. The back sleep position carries the lowest risk of SIDS.
Will my baby choke if placed on his or her back to sleep?
No. Healthy babies naturally swallow or cough up fluids—it’s a reflex all people have to make sure their airway is kept clear. Babies might actually clear such fluids better when on their backs because of the location of the windpipe (trachea) when in the back sleep position. Healthy infants protect their airway when placed on their backs, provided that swallowing and arousal mechanisms are normal. Cases of fatal choking are very rare except when related to a medical condition. The number of fatal choking deaths has not increased since back sleeping recommendations began. In most of the few reported cases of fatal choking, an infant was sleeping on his or her stomach.
Is it okay if my baby sleeps on his or her side?
Side sleeping is not recommended as a safe alternative to sleeping on the back and increases the risk of SIDS. Much (but not all) of the risk associated with the side position is related to the risk of the infant rolling onto their tummy. For this reason, babies should sleep wholly on their backs—the position associated with the lowest SIDS risk.
What if my baby rolls onto his or her stomach during sleep? Do I need to put my baby in the back sleep position again if this happens?
No. Rolling over is an important and natural part of your baby’s growth. Most babies start rolling over on their own around 4 to 6 months of age. And by this stage, baby’s brain is mature enough to alert her to breathing dangers. If your baby rolls over on his or her own during sleep, you do not need to turn the baby over onto his or her back. The important thing is that your baby starts every sleep time on his or her back to reduce the risk of SIDS, and that there is no soft, loose bedding in the baby’s sleep area.
How do I correctly position my baby in the Feet to Foot position?
Position your baby so that their feet touch the bottom of the cot / moses basket etc. This way, if they roll down in their sleep, their heads will not get covered by the blanket.
What about infants with reflux? Must I elevate the mattress?
Research shows that all babies, including babies with gastro-oesophageal reflux, should be placed on their back to sleep. There is no evidence to support the elevation of the head of the cot.
What if my baby’s grandparents or another caregiver wants to place my baby to sleep on his or her stomach for nap time?
Babies who usually sleep on their backs but who are then placed to sleep on their stomachs, such as for a nap, are at very high risk for SIDS. So it is important for everyone who cares for your baby to use the back sleep position for all sleep times—for naps and at night.
Are there times when my baby should be on his or her stomach?
Yes, your baby should have plenty of Tummy Time when he or she is awake and when someone is watching. Supervised Tummy Time helps strengthen your baby’s neck and shoulder muscles, build motor skills, and prevent flat spots on the back of the head. At first, your newborn may not like being on her belly and will only tolerate tummy time for a few seconds without crying. That’s OK. Over time, she will become more used to being on her belly when awake and will probably even start to like it. Make sure to give her some tummy time every day, and always supervise her during these special times.
Will my baby get flat spots on the back of the head from sleeping on his or her back?
Some parents have heard that the back of a baby’s head may get flat from sleeping on the back. This is actually true. But a flat head is usually avoidable and not serious when it occurs. Nor are flat spots linked to long-term problems with head shape. These flattened head spots do not affect brain growth, and for most babies head shape becomes rounder as the baby develops. Flat spots typically go away on their own once the baby starts sitting up.
The most effective strategy to prevent flattened spots is to ensure baby spends time on their tummy several times a day (awake and supervised).
Other strategies include turning your baby’s head to the side when you put her to sleep. Sometimes turn her head to the left, and other times, turn it to the right. Position the cot to face a different direction or place baby to sleep at either end of the cot (always feet to foot of cot). This can help if she usually looks in the same direction of the room. Avoid prolonged periods in car seats and prams. Carry baby in a sling.
If her head does become a bit flat in the back, it usually is not serious.
Do breathing mat monitors prevent SIDS?
Normal healthy babies do not need a breathing monitor. Some parents find that using a breathing monitor reassures them. However, there is no evidence that monitors prevent SIDS.
What about co-sleeping?
The safest place for your baby to sleep is on their back in a cot in a room with you for the first six months. It’s lovely (and convenient) to have your baby with you for a cuddle or a feed, but it’s safest to put your baby back in the cot before you go to sleep. In some circumstances, sharing a sleep surface with a baby increases the risk of sudden infant death and fatal sleeping accidents. Current evidence has shown that it is not so much bed-sharing, but the circumstances in which bed-sharing occurs that carries the risk. No sleeping environment is risk free. It is recommended to sleep with a baby in a cot next to the parents’ bed for the first six to twelve months of life as this has been shown to reduce the risk of SIDS.
Is my baby at an increased risk if we’re smokers?
Yes. Over 60 studies from many countries have demonstrated a very strong relationship between smoking and sudden infant death syndrome. Smoking during pregnancy increases the risk, while smoking after the baby is born increases the risk further. Babies who are exposed to cigarette smoke from any household member are at an increased risk. The car and home should be smoke free zones. Reducing the number of cigarettes smoked in the household, reduces the risk. Room sharing for sleep is recommended for babies for the first 6-12 months of life, as long as this room is kept smoke free and is well ventilated. Sharing a sleep surface with your baby if you are a smoker is not safe and is not recommended.
How old are babies who die from SIDS?
The majority (90%) of SIDS deaths occur before a baby reaches 6 months of age, and the number of SIDS deaths peaks between 1 month and 4 months of age. However SIDS deaths can occur anytime during a baby’s first year, so parents should still follow safe sleep recommendations to reduce the risk of SIDS until their baby’s first birthday.
Courtesy: Eunice Kennedy Shriver National Institute of Child Health and Human Development
The guidelines provided here are for information purposes only. Consult your health care provider before making any changes. Remember, SIDS cannot be prevented. But you can take steps to reduce the risk. Use of this information is at your own discretion. This website does not accept any liability to any person for the information or advice (or the use of such information or advice) which is provided on this website or incorporated into it by reference.
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So how can we raise resilient children with the power to experience all emotions, cope with the negative ones, and in turn, be happy?
Resilience is defined as the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties. Psychologists define resilience as the process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats, or significant sources of stress (taken from the American Psychological Association). Now, more than ever, we need to teach our children resilience.
In order to do this, we need to try and do the following: (and yes, none of us are perfect so that’s why I say to try. The important thing with parenting is not to be perfect but to be conscious and mindful as much as possible and try do what you can)
We need to be mindful of the emotions that our children are feeling, especially during these unpredictable times, and reflect on them. We need to give them the tools to be able to identify the words for their feelings. Once children can express and recognize specific feelings, they will be able to manage them effectively. By learning these skills, we empower our children to overcome challenges and be resilient. Who knows, at the end they may even be the ones teaching us!
Written By: Farryn Kangisser
Farryn is an educational psychologist in private practice and a mom of a 1 year old. She predominantly sees children and adolescents for therapy and assessments, as well as doing parent support work. She can be contacted on 0825364630 or farryn.edpsych@gmail.com and you can follow her on Instagram @littlelifelearnings
]]>So get yourself a cup of whatever-you’re-into-these-days, sit back and make sure our checklist checks out with you.
These are some of our best sellers and favourite baby products that customers just like you have loved.
A diaper caddy helps you to store nappies, wipes, bum cream and all the things you’ll need constantly throughout the day. You can keep your diaper caddy in your car, in the living room or wherever you may need it. It’s easy to pick up and move around the house, making nappy changes easy wherever you are.
You may have heard about the craze of “baby wearing”. It’s when you wear your little one in a carrier or a baby wrap that is safely secured around your body. There’s a reason that this is a craze, it really works wonders for the baby. Baby is close to your heart, is safe and secure and feels cosy being wrapped up, while it gives mom or dad the chance to have their hands free while the baby is safely tucked in. Material wraps are easy to use and comfortable for both baby and mom/dad to wear.
Many new parents have enjoyed our multifunctional covers that can be used to safely cover a carseat, or to give privacy to a breastfeeding mom. Some parents even use them as a hygienic covering over trolleys when shopping with their older babies.
It’s likely that at around five or six months your little one will start drooling and putting absolutely everything in their mouth. To avoid your baby eating your books and socks, you can get your little one a handy teether that will really help stimulate and soothe his/her gums.
We don’t want to scare you or anything, but we feel like you need to be fairly warned. Babies need a lot of soothing, and while a gentle hug, some rocking back and forth and singing sweet songs can do the job, so can a soother. Parents have found that introducing a soother to their children has helped to alleviate the pressure on them to be the only soother for their children. Soothers offer comfort to children and can help with being a healthy sleep association too.
Children love to have a cosy friend, a little cuddle buddy to snuggle into, in other words a cute little plushie. Plushies are a great way to add to the nursery decor too.
You might have heard parents rave about the Nurture One Nesting Cushion, that’s because it is a cushion that is designed to be an ideal sensory environment for your new, full term baby. Many parents have found the Nurture One cushion to provide comfort and ease of settling within their sweet little newborn.
Any parent will tell you that muslins are a must-have. A muslin is a lightweight, loosely woven cotton blanket that allows for temperature regulation and breathability. Muslins can double up as a swaddle, as a soft landing to change baby’s nappy or to play, to wipe up spills, as a burp cloth, to cover the pram or as a feeding cover.
Now that your little one is arriving you’re going to be changing a lot of nappies, and you’re going to be needing wet wipes to do the job. The Funkybox is a wipe holder that helps preserve the moisture of the wipes while adding a chic look to your changing table, the kitchen space to wipe up sticky hands and faces, in the bathroom for potty training or anywhere in the home or car. The Funkybox is a stylish and practical way to store your wet wipes.
Talking about nappy changing and wipes, the next item on our list is a comfortable and safe change mat where you can conveniently change your little one’s nappies and clothes. When choosing a change mat, make sure to look for an easy-to-wipe mat that is comfortable for the baby and safe to use.
As you may know, leaving the house with a baby takes a little more prep than the days where you used to grab your keys and go. You’re going to need a practical and beautiful diaper bag to help store all your baby essentials when you’re heading out and about. Make sure to choose a diaper bag that is practical in size, comfortable to wear and that has the capacity to store all your needs for your little one’s outing.
There is no better time to invest in a playmat than right now. You’ll find yourself using it from birth past toddlerhood, as a comfortable place to rest the baby, play games, change nappies and let the baby learn how to sit without the possibility of hurting herself. Playmats are a great addition to the nursery and because they’re portable, you can move it to the living room, garden, kitchen or wherever you need to be.
So let’s get this checklist straight, all the items mentioned above are clearly listed for you down below:
Now that you’ve got this list of essentials to help start off your parenting journey as smoothly as possible, we know that you will be fully prepared to welcome your little one into the world.
You can find all these items on our website, with various brands for each product, giving you lots of variety to choose from. We wish you the best of luck with your new bundle of joy and are here to help with all your baby product needs along the way.
]]>So many different individuals, with so many different stories yet all presenting with similar symptoms. Similar pelvic floors, pains, constipations and leaks.
Could the events that occurred or are currently occurring in their life possibly be the cause of such physical symptoms? Is that possible?
Yes! Absolutely! But how? How could these emotional and mental-health related events be the cause?
I love this poem written by Elizabeth Noble, an obstetric physiotherapist who has been called the mother of pelvic floor physiotherapy in America. She describes the pelvis this way:
The center of gravity.
Centre of pleasure. Centre of reproduction. Centre of creativity.
A bony basin to cradle a baby.
Our first home, the primordial cave of bliss or terror? Wounds are stored here.
Survival, relationships, power and money.
A bony bridge between trunk and legs.
Muscular floor pulsing and pumping.
Architecture of containment.
Keystone of good posture.
Base of emotional security.
Love’s portals.
Your pelvis is so much more
This poem accurately explains that a pelvis is not just a bony cavity in our body. It is so much more. It contains memories and experiences. It allows for the greatest forms of vulnerability, intimacy, and therefore potential pain. It has the ability to bring forth life. It is linked to relationships and connected to our very breath. It is the stable foundation for all our upper and lower body movements. It truly is our center. We can do without our arms or legs, but we can’t function without a pelvis.
Proof
A study was performed on a multitude of different aged females. They all sat in a movie theatre, attached to electrodes on all muscles of their body. They then were exposed to scary scenes such as zombies and ghosts. Can you guess the first muscles to contract when experiencing fear? You know it, their pelvic floor muscles. The first set of muscles to tense in response to fear, anxiety, worry or distress are your pelvic floor muscles.
Stress and our pelvis
One of our helpful coping strategies for mental or physical stress is a subtle contraction of our pelvic floor muscles. This contraction helps prevent urinary or fecal leakage and co-contracts with our abdominal muscles to protect our spine. If we experience long-term stress, our pelvic floor stays contracted and eventually can have difficulty relaxing. You may have heard terms like hyper-active pelvic floor, non-relaxing pelvic floor, or tight pelvic floor muscles which are often used to describe this phenomenon. When our pelvic floor learns to stay in a semi-contracted state, we lose the functional strength needed to hold in urine and feces, the mobility needed for pain-free intercourse, and the stability needed to prevent pelvic organ prolapse. We also lose the ability to positively cope with pain, even if our body is no longer in danger.
Is this you?
So all my patients with previous or current traumas… Maybe its 20 years ago or maybe it’s last month, maybe its assault and maybe it’s a fight with your partner. Trauma is trauma no matter how small and our body reacts. And my new moms, hopefully you had a wonderful and happy birth but regardless birth is a trauma and can have major effects on our pelvic floors.
So now?
How can we take better care of our pelvic floors? How can we heal from our previous trauma that has affected our pelvises?
The best and quickest way to start connecting and relaxing our pelvic floors is diaphragmatic breathing. Such a simple, free, accessible treatment to relieve tension and restore our pelvic floor and core.
The Benefits of Diaphragmatic Breathing
How to Diaphragmatically Breathe
Follow these simple steps to learn Diaphragmatic Breathing
You can do Diaphragmatic Breathing for as long as you like. I recommend at least 10minutes to allow your nervous system to calm down. Do this daily if you are stressed, have pelvic floor over activity, or are experiencing pelvic pain or incontinence or painful intercourse.
What else?
With you in all pee, poop, pleasure and pain,
Written By: Talya Chemel
Talya is a physiotherapist running her own practice in Melrose North. She has special interest in neuromusculoskeletal and women's health pelvic floor conditions. She is further specialising in sexology in the physiotherapy context to ensure pain-free and pleasurable living. You can contact her on talya@fizzeeoh.com and find her on instagram @talyachemelphysio
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When a child shows interest in potty training, they show a desire to copy their moms/dads/siblings behaviours of going to the toilet and sometimes resist having to wear a nappy. They can communicate and understand when they need to pee/ poo or just after they have peed/pooed most of the time and are happy to sit on a potty/ toilet. Their nappies are drier and lighter- indicating some kind of bladder control as they can hold their bladder for longer periods of time. Some regular accidents still occur within the first few weeks and months of potty training so a few accidents here and there doesn’t mean your child is not ready.
When is the right time to start potty training and is there a difference in the average age for boys and girls to be ready to potty train?
I don’t find there is a big difference between the readiness between boys and girls. It completely depends on the child. Typically toddlers are ready to be potty trained any time between 18mo and 2,5yrs- some can be later or even earlier. It’s often easier to start potty training in the warmer months when they can run around bare bummed or just in a pair of panties/ underpants.
How do I make potty training a fun experience for toddlers and parents?
Make sitting on a potty or a toilet a positive experience. Potties or toilet seats which are fun colours or shapes make it more appealing to your child- some potties even sing a little song when used! Parents should praise their little ones when they have success on the potty/ toilet with enthusiastic words of praise or songs. Parents don’t need to reward their toddler every time they pee or poo with a treat as you don’t want to set up the expectation that every time they go they will get a treat. Parents should avoid scolding their kids when an accident occurs- it is part of the process of learning and sometimes cannot be avoided. It is sometimes useful to leave your child in their wet panties/underpants for a minute or two so they learn that it is uncomfortable and should be avoided. Don’t always rely on your child to tell you when they need to go- prompt them repeatedly (and least every hour initially) so they get many opportunities to achieve success toileting.
I love (and used for my 3 kids) Meg Faure’s 10 day potty training plan. It’s clear and easy to use! You can download it off her website https://www.megfaure.com/potty-training/
Written By: Tasha Perreard
Tasha Perreard is a Registered Nursing Sister, an Internationally Certified and South African Certified Lactation Consultant as well as a mum to 7yr old twin girls and a 4 yr old boy. She is the owner of The Well Mother and Child Clinic in Rondebosch. The Well Mother and Child Clinic is a well baby clinic offering antenatal classes, weigh-ins and growth monitoring, lactation support and advice about settling fussy babies, routines, starting solids and sleep issues amongst other baby and parent related issues. The clinic also provides vaccinations in line with the South African National Guidelines as well as the private vaccination schedule. www.wellmotherandchildclinic.co.za
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A common question raised at most newborn check-ups is whether my baby is in pain. The thought of your little one in pain can be very distressing – and rightfully so, every parent wants to rule it out asap. The culprit most often blamed for apparent pain in babies is reflux.
Reflux in babies and infants has generally become a “hot topic”. It is often blamed for much that goes “wrong” with feeding, sleep patterns or general contentedness of our babies. Sometimes, reflux IS to blame, and other times it’s just an innocent bystander. I have dealt with reflux a lot – both as a paediatrician and as a mom. Two of my three kids suffered from Gastro oesophageal reflux disease (GORD) - my son’s was so severe that I had to be dairy free for 5 months, nut and egg free for 1 month, all while he was on maximum nexiam doses and saw a physio weekly. It is stressful and heart-breaking. I am also quite aware and am honest with my patients that reflux is not the cause of everything.
When discussing reflux its important to highlight two terms – Gastro-oesophageal reflux (GOR) and gastro-oesophageal reflux disease (GORD). GOR is a normal process in babies. These children show no pathological symptoms of their reflux and are affectionately known as ‘happy spitters’. They feed and grow well and are mostly just a laundry issue due to frequently vomiting on their clothes. GOR is extremely common in healthy infants in whom gastric contents can reflux into the oesophagus 20 or more times a day. Babies are prone to GOR for a few reasons: their lower oesophageal sphincter can be weak (which strengthens over time), they have a short oesophagus, they feed 100% liquid diet and spend most of their first weeks asleep on their backs. Milk is bound to regurgitate into the oesophagus.
So, when does GOR become GORD? Your baby may have GORD if Your baby’s symptoms include any of the following:
If you are worried that any of these symptoms are present in your baby its best to see your Paediatrician. A general exam to rule out anything else more sinister (e.g. sepsis, airway compromise etc) or to find clues as to underlying predispostions to reflux is essential.
The work up for GORD may include the following:
Management is very much dependent on the individual:
Lots of grunts and groans and squirms are completely normal in the first 8 to 12 weeks. If, however you are worried about your baby and the potential of GORD, chat to your doctor – there are no stupid questions or unnecessary consults when your mom/dad sense is tingling.
Written By: Dr Kim Barnard - FCPaed(SA), MMed(Paeds)
Kim is a General Paediatrician in private practice, as well a mom of three – (almost) 6-year-old Lily and 16-month-old twins, Abby and Nate. Her scope of practise includes Neonatal ICU, paediatric ICU as well as consults in the rooms for all ages. Working with children has always been her happy place. She has a special interest in neonatology as well as childhood allergies. She works as part of a group practise in Bryanston and can be contacted on 011 706 1153 or www.drmikgreeff.co.za
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When I see these posts, I feel sad and helpless. I also wonder about the parents and child, who likely feel the same way too. Really, these things should come with a warning: ‘Do not lose me, do not discard me and do not wash me, or prepare to face a major meltdown'.
I admit that the idea of a warning is a bit ridiculous, but it does show how valued these objects are to the little people who own them. For many babies developing into toddlers, these objects are their prized possessions.
But what is it that makes them so valued? Why are they so treasured?
In order to understand the power of these precious objects, let’s start by peeking inside your baby’s mind…
Donald Winnicott, a paediatrician and psychoanalyst, shared that in your baby’s mind there is no distinction between you and your baby. From your baby’s perspective, your baby is you and you are your baby. So, even though you feed your baby, your baby thinks that he or she makes the milk! This leaves your baby feeling rather powerful, and it protects your baby from the frightening idea of being separate from you.
However, reality eventually knocks at the door and must be let in!
Slowly but surely your baby will begin to realise that all is not as it seems. One day, your baby may have to wait a little longer than usual for a feed. Another day, you may have to delay changing your baby’s soiled nappy. As these sorts of experiences happen, your baby will start to notice that something is up with the world!
These experiences will enable your baby to see that he or she is separate from you and needs to get things from you, because your baby cannot make its own milk after all! Although these experiences are not planned, they will nonetheless happen in the ordinary day-to-day care of your baby. They are the ways in which you must fail your baby, precisely because they introduce your baby to the idea of being separate from you, as well as to the idea of a world outside of him- or herself. Of course, this can be quite an upsetting realisation for your very dependent infant. This is where bunnies, blankies and dudus come in…
For your baby, a bunny, blankie or dudu is an actual object in reality which becomes imbued with parts of him- or herself. At the same time, it represents you, or stands for you, when you are not there. In so doing, it creates an intermediate space or a bridge between you and your child, which allows your child to begin to play with the idea of what is ‘me’ and what is ‘not me’, what is ‘inside’ and what is ‘outside’, and what is ‘fantasy’ and what is ‘reality’. This is very important for your child’s developing sense of self and for your child’s eventual capacity to play and be creative. After all, play takes place outside of your child, in the space between your child’s internal and external world.
So, we can see that there is far more to your child’s precious object than the threads that are woven into it. It is treasured and it is filled with treasures. It is a part of your child and a part of you. It is a bridge between you and your child. It is a source of comfort. It invites play and it helps your child develop a sense of self.
As a parent, it may then be helpful to keep the following information about these treasured objects in mind:
Finally, know that there will come the day when the precious object will recede into the background. Neither because it is forgotten nor because it loses importance. Rather, your child will have internalised the bridge linking his internal and external world. This is the everlasting treasure.
Written By: Sarah Berman
Sarah is a counselling psychologist in private practice. She has a special interest in adult therapy and in parent-infant therapy. Sarah has over ten years of experience as a psychologist and she is currently researching the experiences of new fathers for her PhD. To contact Sarah, you can email her on sarahbermanpsych@gmail.com. You can also find her on Instagram @sarahbermanpsych.
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There are times in parenthood where we find ourselves questioning the best way forward. How do we manage this situation? How do we find the best way to make sure everyone’s needs are met, including our own? Often, the day-to-day parts of parenting pose these conflicting feelings within ourselves. What to make for lunch? What clothes to dress them in just incase its chilly later? What games should they play?
While one of the biggest inner struggles many parents face is having meaningful, connected playtime with their children and actually wanting to have that time as opposed to feeling like we have to have it.
It might seem strange to literally give time to think about the most effective way to play with your child, rather than allowing for it to “naturally” happen. But the truth here is that many parents find playtime boring, difficult, unrelatable while some even view it as a chore.
As busy parents with children to care for, a home to maintain, a job to perform at, it’s no wonder we’re often burnt out. Sitting on the floor doing puzzles or playing hide and seek with endless buckets of patience might seem like the furthest thing you’re capable of doing after a long, tiring day. While on the other hand, saying no to your adoring child when they ask you to play leaves you feeling guilt ridden.
So how can you make the most of your play time with your child?
Set aside all distractions to truly connect. This is often hard, as we are glued to our phones with emails popping in and urgent messages and calls to attend to. But, if you put your devices away and make sure to really and truly be in the moment of play with your child you will be filling up their need for connection. Whereas if you’re distracted by your devices your child feels it and then feels the need to grab your attention in other ways; through fighting, shouting or tantruming. So make sure that the time you do set aside is genuine, focused time where only your child and the activity is in play.
Set boundaries and time limits. Make it clear to your child (in a loving way) what games or activities are acceptable to play at this time. All children can understand time limits if you set them in a way that works for their age. Older children may be able to view a clock and understand the time, while younger children might need an alarm set as a reminder or to verbally count the numbers aloud with you.
However you decide to do it, make sure you’re giving your child full attention for the five, ten, fifteen or twenty minutes of uninterrupted connecting time. You won’t feel burnt out, you’ll understand there is an end in sight and your child will feel that you’ve given of yourself and your time while understanding that realistically it can’t go on and on forever.
Find the activities and games that make your child shine. You might love to kick a ball around or thread beads onto a string necklace, but your child might not want to do these things. Understand what it is that makes your child happy. What are his/her interests and favourite things to play? Do the things that they enjoy, even if they are not the things that you enjoy. You’ll find the joy in it when you see their eyes light up.
Mix it up with high energy play and low activity play. Suss out the situation at that time and make the call. Does your child require a bit of rough-housing play where you run around, chase them, spin them around or ride bikes together? Or do they need to do something more personal and close to you such as drawing, playing puzzles, face painting or baking cookies together?
Try to avoid always resorting to the same activity together, as this will contribute to your playtime boredom and may cause you to dread playtime together.
Playtime doesn’t have to strictly be ‘play’. Depending on your child’s age, you can get your child to participate in helping you with something you have to do. If you’re cooking dinner and haven’t had time yet for one-on-one play, involve your child in putting the salad together. Or if you have errands to run, pop your child in the car and make the car ride your connecting time by singing their favourite songs together or stopping off to choose an ice-cream to enjoy together. You can make playtime work for you as a busy parent.
Let your child lead. You can suggest the playtime activity options and let your child pick which one they want to do with you. It’s best to try to avoid controlling the play time, and to rather loosen up and let your child take the lead. If you’re doing imaginative play and your child wants you to pretend to be a frog, go with the flow. If you’re playing a board game but your child has a different version of rules, let them try it out. When we let our children take the lead and explore the ways they feel most confident in playing, the whole play experience elevates to a happier level, where we’re showing our kids that their ideas are clever and that we’re supporting their choices.
Take an interest in their interests. If your little one loves Paw Patrol, discuss the characters with them while you play. Try to get into their world by taking an interest in the things that they enjoy. This will help your child feel a connection to you, and feel that their world is important to you. Use playtime as a time to connect physically, emotionally and intellectually with your child.
We can face the facts and accept that some days are easier than others as parents. Sometimes, playtime is a welcome escape from our crazy world while other days it’s a burden to break away from our responsibilities as adults. Whichever way your day is going, try to find the best way for you and your child to connect in that specific moment. It may vary day to day, which is healthy.
It’s just important that it happens every day.
Written By: Gabriela Demby
Gabriela is a freelance writer with over ten years of experience in the creative industry. She is a mother of two beautiful girls and is a mommy blogger. She uses her platform to shed light on the realities of parenthood with raw honesty, a little humour and some recipes too. You can contact her at momsyandmee@gmail.com or find her on Instagram @momsyandmee
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Why is it that so many children refuse bedtime? Why do our children turn into circus stars, jumping and swinging all over the place the minute we announce bath time or bedtime?
There is a whole psychology behind the way children’s brains react when given a command (which is for another blog, another day), so sometimes, the way in which we bring them to the point of bedtime and bathtime is crucial in maintaining a positive flow throughout “suicide hour”.
Here are some suggestions that can help take the struggle out of bedtime.
Routines rule. While not all parents agree with this point, there are millions of parents who see the benefits routines bring into their lives. Children who have routines in place come to learn what to expect, which helps them feel like they have order and control in their lives. They feel secure, knowing what is to come, plus routines help children build healthy daily habits.
Find a bedtime routine that works for your family, and then stick to it. This will already eliminate a lot of stress and chaos when it comes to bedtime.
Start the build up to bedtime steadily. Give your children enough friendly reminders that it’s almost bedtime. This will allow your child time to understand the next steps that are required of him/her. Offer your child one more activity, TV show episode or game before you move onto the bedtime routine. This will help them understand that after this activity it’s time for bed.
Make the idea of bath time and bedtime fun by keeping the positive energy flowing. How can we do this? By using positive words. Instead of saying “Get in the bath NOW!” or “How many times do I have to tell you to get into your bed?” Rather say “Let’s go see if mom put bubbles in the bath tonight!”” and “Let’s see who can be the first one in the bed!” This makes the act of getting to the bath or bed fun and exciting, which is half of the struggle sorted.
If you find that your child is resisting the task at hand, make the effort to change the energy you’re giving. Try to maintain a bedtime routine that runs smoothly and calmly with a positive energy.
One-on-one time at bedtime is worth it. Children crave connections. They need to feel safe and loved by their parents, and a crucial time for this to take place is at bedtime. Before a child falls asleep, they are vulnerable. They are giving into their sleepy conscience and they need to feel loved and secure to do this. If you are able to give your children one-on-one time at bedtime, you’ll likely notice a decrease in their willingness to fight bedtime because often when children resist something, they are craving attention or connection.
Acknowledge their fears and deal with them. Show them that they are safe by eliminating all the possibilities of monsters under the bed or bad dreams by checking the room and even creating a ‘special spray’ that keeps them away. This will show your child that you are validating their fear and dealing with it so that they won’t have to.
Find ways to help your kids relax. There are many ways to help your child unwind before bedtime. If you have a steady, calming routine in place from birth, it is likely that this will be your child’s way of unwinding and expecting bedtime. However, if you have yet to implement a routine, or if your routine is a little less calm then you might want it to be, look into other options, such as:
Stay calm, if you’re shouting or huffing and puffing your child is not going to feel relaxed. Imagine you are tired, and someone a lot bigger than you is shouting at you to “close your eyes and go to sleep!” Your brain is going to signal an alert that this is frightening, rather than a sleepytime alert.
Your energy impacts the way your children fall asleep.
Be loving, but firm. Bedtime is not a negotiable time. You are the parent, you need to be in control in a loving way. If your child is going off the edge, reign him/her back in with a calm, steady voice and let them know that if they won’t listen to you or get into bed you will be leaving the room without them. Make sure to be true to your word, so that your child learns that you mean what you say.
During bedtime, stay with your child until you feel your child is in a state of complete calm, and then leave the room. Don’t leave your child to fall asleep alone if he or she is upset or crying as this can lead to bedtime anxiety. Decide where the best place is for you to be and then stay there (lying in the bed, sitting on the bed, sitting on a chair, standing at the door, standing outside the door etc). This has to work for you, but it has to show your child that they are safe, loved and that they can indeed close their eyes and safely fall asleep.
Remember, parenting is not about controlling your children but rather about understanding your child’s feelings which result in their behaviours. No child wants to be giving their parents a hard time just for fun. Always try to understand the feelings behind the actions or resistance. And then pick your way forward. The moment you embrace their fears, wishes and resistance is the moment they will cease to fight you.
Here’s to hoping for sweet dreams.
Written By: Gabriela Demby
Gabriela is a freelance writer with over ten years of experience in the creative industry. She is a mother of two beautiful girls and is a mommy blogger. She uses her platform to shed light on the realities of parenthood with raw honesty, a little humour and some recipes too. You can contact her at momsyandmee@gmail.com or find her on Instagram @momsyandmee
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Among the chaos and beauty of bringing a newborn home, how can you realistically reconnect with your partner after your baby has arrived?
Talk about your feelings. Bringing a newborn into your lives can be a stressful time for many parents. Throw in the exhaustion, the recovery, the adjustment to a new reality and you may find yourself feeling overwhelmed and alone.
Make sure to talk about it all. Share your fears, thoughts and worries with your partner so that you both feel secure and supported. You’ve both been cast into new roles that come with many new feelings and adjustments. So make sure to express them.
Many professionals recommend that new couples avoid discussing two topics: work and the baby. Doing this can add pressure to your conversations and make you feel like you have nothing else to discuss as a couple. Realistically, at the moment you are all-consumed by your new baby, so it’s okay to talk about the baby. It is always okay to talk about your baby. It’s also okay not to want to talk about your baby. Find what works for you as a couple, but keep the communication doors open all the time.
Communicate constantly. Very often, couples expect each other to be mind readers. An experience for one partner may not be the same for the other, and so this can lead to feelings of resentment, loneliness and misunderstanding. Make sure to tell your partner your needs, explain how your partner can help you with housework, settling the baby, feeding the baby and so on. Try not to expect your partner to “just know” what you need or how you feel.
This is a new journey for you both, and a really big adjustment. Remember, you’re a team and you need to figure this out together.
Send lovey-dovey messages to your partner so that they know you’re on their mind. It’s easy to lose grip on the effort you put into your relationship when a new baby arrives. Suddenly all your time is consumed by nappy changes, bottle feeds or breastfeeding, constant settling your baby, short-lived naps and piles of laundry that never seem to end. Your energy, time and effort is all going towards your little bundle, leaving very little to give to your partner. While this is completely natural, it’s important to notice when this happens. Couples can remedy the gap that may begin to form between them by noticing it when it starts, and doing small things to remind each other that the love is still very much there.
Send a message, an email, write a sticky note, make a cup of coffee, give a quick foot rub, order their favourite take outs or do a quick online shop to get a little surprise for them, as ways to remind them that you’re still utterly lovestruck with them.
Take the pressure off. You might hear people saying things like “schedule date night” or “make time for each other when the baby is asleep”, but realistically a new baby doesn’t come with much consideration for time. Baby’s need their caregivers constantly, and this is so normal. If you want to aim for a date night, try it. But if you’re interrupted by your baby and it doesn’t work out try not to let it upset you or your partner. Move the date night to another time or take it to the baby’s room and sit together while you change the nappy or feed. This is where you need to be right now, remember: this season will pass.
Instead of scheduling a whole date night, try doing little things together like having a glass of wine, or lying in bed listening to your wedding song while you both close your eyes. Those little moments of connection can be even more effective than a scheduled date night.
Admire your work. Spend time together marvelling over your little masterpiece. After all, this little person is something that both of you are responsible for; something you both deeply love. You can connect to your partner by connecting to your baby together.
Involve your partner in feeding time. If you bottle feed, then you can share the load and even sit together while baby feeds. If you’re breastfeeding, ask your partner to sit with you, have a cup of tea together, let your partner read you a story or rub your tired feet. Use the feeding time where you are alone (and let’s face it - breastfeeding can be lonely) to connect with each other.
While many of us hope that “we’ll never be those parents” (the ones who bicker, the ones who look too tired, the ones who don’t socialise anymore), the reality is that when a new baby arrives our world is shaken to its core. We need our partners to hold us and we need to hold our partners. We need to work at maintaining a relationship of honesty, love and understanding as best we can.
But most of all, we need to give our relationship grace.
This time in our lives is challenging, beautiful and wild.
Make sure to hold your partner’s hand throughout it.
Written By: Gabriela Demby
Gabriela is a freelance writer with over ten years of experience in the creative industry. She is a mother of two beautiful girls and is a mommy blogger. She uses her platform to shed light on the realities of parenthood with raw honesty, a little humour and some recipes too. You can contact her at momsyandmee@gmail.com or find her on Instagram @momsyandmee
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